Peer Edits (feature story) - absent

Alaina
1. What are some areas that could use more detail? Why?

• I think introducing the topic a little more cleary about growing up earlier on in the story would help it flow better, becuase or else it makes the reader wondering TOO much.

2. What additional sources might the author use? Does the lead involve you in the story?

• Yes, the lead involves me. It gets me looking back at my previous years.

3. Do the first 450 words contain a well defined scene (a detailed description of someone doing something or something happening)? What is it? If not, make a suggestion for a scene that might work.

• Yes, I can picture the nerf-gun war going on.

4. What questions would you like answered in the next 300 words? What would you like to see or hear more of? Less of? Include, any other suggestions you have for improvement.

• the question I would like to have answered is what is she going to do now? Like to hear more about current stress and situation.

Julia
1. What are some areas that could use more detail? Why?

• Everything seems to be covered really well.

2. What additional sources might the author use? Does the lead involve you in the story?

• Yes, the story targets me, a senior in HS awaiting and worrying about college.

3. Do the first 450 words contain a well defined scene (a detailed description of someone doing something or something happening)? What is it? If not, make a suggestion for a scene that might work.

• Yes, it may not be a scene, but it does get me thinking about my life and how I can adapt to her story.

4. What questions would you like answered in the next 300 words? What would you like to see or hear more of? Less of? Include, any other suggestions you have for improvement.

• I would like the question answered about how she feels about the situation more so, and what she wants to do so it's not so informative.